The word ‘queer’ is NOT not not not a description of a person’s sexuality or gender. Queerness is NOT a sexual preference or a gender ID that isn’t always considered ‘normal’. It is a reclaimed slur. For instance: I’m pansexual. That is the description of my sexual identity. I’m genderfluid. That is a description of my gender identity. Queer is neither. Queer is a slur that I have chosen to reclaim, one that has been used against me and people like me, a word that targets me. It’s my word to reclaim, I reclaim it. Not all gay/bi/pan/trans* people choose to reclaim it, but any gay/bi/pan/trans* person may choose to.
Queer is a reclaimed slur. Queer DOES NOT mean that people think you’re weird because of your sexuality. It’s unfortunate that straight people do have their sexual lives policed, but there’s a difference. Kinky straight cis people can’t reclaim queer, ever. Demi straight cis people can’t reclaim queer, ever. Cis (at the very least heteroromantic) aces can’t reclaim queer, ever. And the reason that they can’t reclaim it is because it is a slur that is aimed at the Ls, the Gs, the Bs, and the Ts. Perhaps there have been demis or aces that have heard ‘what are ya, queer?’ when they haven’t shown an ‘appropriate’ amount of attention to people presenting the opposite gender, but that’s a negative comparison to another person, not a slur aimed at asexual or demisexual people.
If somebody went into my ask box on anon and asked ‘what are you, a -insert racial slur aimed at PoC here-?’, that doesn’t give me the right as a white person to reclaim the slur. It may have been used in my general direction, but I’m not and can’t be the target of the slur. Of course race and sexuality/gender are different subjects, but that’s how slurs work. Only people who have been the target of them can reclaim them, and I’m not targeted by racial slurs. Heterosexual and heteroromantic people aren’t targeted by ‘queer’. I am.
That’s why. It’s that simple. Nobody is actually ‘queer’, because ‘queer’ is a slur, not a description. Of course, there are gay men, lesbians, bi-sexual folks, pansexual folks, and trans* peoples who choose to use it as a part of their/our identity in the empowering act of reclaiming the word, but this is what I need you to remember.
Although ‘queer’ has now (to a lot of LGBT folks) become an umbrella term for the community (and I have no problems with straight people referring to ‘the queer community’ as an umbrella term, although some LGBT folks do) it’s still a slur. Using it in a way that the actual queer community finds offensive is exactly what it sounds like. It’s using a slur against people who don’t have the privileges that you have.
Unless you were going to say, “a continent comprised of 56 different countries, each with their own cultures, economies, languages and politics,” do not continue
HOLD UP. What? “Don’t talk about Africa unless you say words I would say!” No. Can you just stop now?
This whole post is stupid. There are so many ways that the sentence “Africa is…” could be going. I get that this post is just an obnoxious way of you saying “GUYS I UNDERSTAND THAT AFRICA IS A HUGE AND DIVERSE CONTINENT!”. But listen to the words that you are saying. You are actively trying to shut down conversation about a whole continent- good job marginalising an entire continent of people guys.
These posts are actually just a way of being pretentious. Everyone on my dash is reblogging all this stuff about Africa (half of it doesn’t even make sense, such as this post) because it’s a new trend. Seriously, almost everyone I’ve seen post these things are white American kids. Do you actually think that you’re special for knowing that Africa is made up of different countries and governments? Don’t you learn that in school? We get taught this from the age of 13. World history and global issues… that’s a thing that exists outside of the US of A.
Stop pretending that you are significantly more informed about the place than everyone else. You have no right to be controlling anyone else’s discussions on Africa. Okay? Cool.
when i hear people suggest that because a woman is showing skin she welcomes violation, i wonder if they realize that what they are really saying is
that a woman’s body is inherently meant for violation; her body is not her own, but rather for the consumption of others,
because, seriously, that’s what the statement implies.
in order to justify women being prey because they “show skin,” people have to believe that our bodies are nothing more than objects, objects that don’t even belong to us and are not meant to be taken care of, loved, and respected.
criminalize our bodies; demonize us; and that’s all you need for rape culture to be as pervasive as it is.
“Women are socialized to make men feel good. We’re socialized to “let you down easy.” We’re not socialized to say a clear and direct “no.” We’re socialized to speak in hints and boost egos and let people save face. People who don’t respect the social contract (rapists, predators, assholes, pickup artists) are good at taking advantage of this. “No” is something we have to learn. “No” is something we have to earn. In fact, I’d argue that the ability to just say “no” to something, without further comment, apology, explanation, guilt, or thinking about it is one of the great rites of passage in growing up, and when you start saying it and saying it regularly the world often pushes back. And calls you names.”—
This is a huge deal for me, and I figured it out through watching my mother. She would say things like “Is anyone cold? I’m sorry it’s so cold in here.” and what she really wanted to say was “I’m cold.” Finally, I asked her why she doesn’t just say what she wants, and she said she thought she would sound like a bitch.
I used to do that, too. I used to ask people if they were hungry if I was starving, and if they weren’t, I wouldn’t eat. I used to ask people if they wanted to go out when I was stir-crazy, and if they didn’t want to go, I’d stay in.
I’m tired of having to give kind smiles to the perverts who creep on me on the train and corner me, and ask for a fucking hug from me. I’m tired of cab drivers who grab my arm to write their phone number down on it, without even asking me if I want it. I’m tired of being afraid that my ‘no’ will mean being hurt.
If I want something, I’ll say it. And if I don’t want it, my no will be loud. And if you touch me without my consent, you will carry a reminder of it wherever you go, because I carry my knife with me wherever I go, and I’m not afraid anymore.
(TW, busted terms related to anatomy erasure and cissexism)
The best term when referring people who can get pregnant while talking about abortion or the morning-after pill or whatever is “people who can get pregnant”.
“Women” is obviously cissexist.
“Women*” is not inclusive enough and dysphorias quite a few of the trans people I’ve seen commenting on it, so even if you consider it technically inclusive, it’s still not okay.
Anything involving “vagina” erases people who have what are typically considered vaginas who can’t get pregnant, like trans people without uteri due to not being born with one or having gotten surgery to remove it and infertile cis women.
“People with uteri” and the like assumes that the mentioned uterus is actually capable of pregnancy, which erases folks with uteri that aren’t capable of pregnancy.
“Biologically female” and its ilk are cissexist, cis-centric, cisnormative and generally not okay.
The clearest and most inclusive term is “people who can get pregnant”. If you’d like to emphasize that this is mostly an issue of cis women, then you can say/type/etc “people who get pregnant (mostly cis women)” or something.
I don’t think there’s any need to to say (mostly cis women) and I think anyone who feels the need to include that is kind of a douche. But otherwise, all of this.
“Why do some folks feel that transgender people need to disclose their history and their genitalia and non transgender people do not? When you first meet someone and they are clothed, you never know exactly what that person looks like. And when you first meet someone, you never know that person’s full history. Why do only some people have to describe themselves in detail—and others do not? Why are some nondisclosures seen as actions and others utterly invisible? Actions. Gwen Araujo was being herself, openly and honestly. No, she did not wear a sign on her forehead that said “I am transgender, this is what my genitalia look like.” But her killers didn’t wear a sign on their foreheads saying, “We might look like nice high school boys, but really, we are transphobic and are planning to kill you.” That would have been a helpful disclosure.”—Law Center (via mermaid-vision)
“Nobody told me I had a clitoris. Nobody told me I was capable of having orgasms. For five years I was given “sex education”. It mostly consisted of periods and condoms. It didn’t talk about consent. It didn’t talk about the actual mechanics of sex, about arousal and lubrication and oscillation. It didn’t tell me a single thing about relationships and it didn’t tell me I had a clitoris. I only know now because of the internet. Nobody entrusted with my care and education has ever told me that the female orgasm exists, or about the parts of my anatomy necessary for it. I didn’t find my clitoris until I was eighteen, after six years of active sexuality. That makes me angry.”—Sex Education, or, What Boys Will Want From You « Frothing at the Brain (via ameliaj0y, sexisnottheenemy) (via hardcoreandmetalbitch) (via for-victory-or-death) (via perennial-quest) (via crystal-lotus) (via moniquill)
Hello all. I’m setting up a plus sized vintage shop called voluptuous vintage. I’m looking for plus sized models to help me get started! I’m based in Birmingham UK.I will be selling clothes from a 12 onwards. Not only will there be genuine vintage, there will also be modern day styled vintage with a twist, and cool things like vintage cameras, paintings, handmade goodies, typewriters, ornaments ect ect.
Best of all, I’ll be happy to ship overseas too!
I am a qualified photographer, so hopefully the snaps will be pretty good too ;)
My wonderful fellow mod Andrea posted about the price of pregnancy. That focuses on just the monetary cost of pregnancy, and how financial stability or lack of it can often be a factor in the decision to abort.
I feel as if people don’t always realize that not only do the medical bills add up when it comes to pregnancy, there are other costs to it as well. Other costs that are health related.
Pregnancy is by no means an easy thing to go through, and there are some people who think it’s something that is just over and done with in 9 months and there are no lasting effects. Or that those 9 months are a walk in the park.
So here’s a list of symptoms and complications that arise with pregnancy, varying from common to rare.
Normal, frequent or expectable temporary side effects of pregnancy:
exhaustion (weariness common from first weeks)
altered appetite and senses of taste and smell
nausea and vomiting (50% of women, first trimester)
heartburn and indigestion
dizziness and light-headedness
bloating, swelling, fluid retention
congested, bloody nose
acne and mild skin disorders
skin discoloration (chloasma, face and abdomen)
mild to severe backache and strain
difficulty sleeping, and discomfort while sleeping
increased urination and incontinence
breast pain and discharge
swelling of joints, leg cramps, joint pain
difficulty sitting, standing in later pregnancy
inability to take regular medications
shortness of breath
higher blood pressure
tendency to anemia
curtailment of ability to participate in some sports and activities
infection including from serious and potentially fatal disease (pregnant women are immune suppressed compared with non-pregnant women, and are more susceptible to fungal and certain other diseases)
extreme pain on delivery
hormonal mood changes, including normal post-partum depression
continued post-partum exhaustion and recovery period (exacerbated if a c-section — major surgery — is required, sometimes taking up to a full year to fully recover)
Normal, expectable, or frequent PERMANENT side effects of pregnancy:
stretch marks (worse in younger women)
permanent weight gain or redistribution
abdominal and vaginal muscle weakness
pelvic floor disorder (occurring in as many as 35% of middle-aged former child-bearers and 50% of elderly former child-bearers, associated with urinary and rectal incontinence, discomfort and reduced quality of life)
changes to breasts
scarring from episiotomy or c-section
other permanent aesthetic changes to the body (all of these are downplayed by women, because the culture values youth and beauty)
increased proclivity for hemmorhoids
loss of dental and bone calcium (cavities and osteoporosis)
severe scarring requiring later surgery (especially after additional pregnancies)
dropped (prolapsed) uterus (especially after additional pregnancies, and other pelvic floor weaknesses — 11% of women, including cystocele, rectocele, and enterocele)
pre-eclampsia (edema and hypertension, the most common complication of pregnancy, associated with eclampsia, and affecting 7 - 10% of pregnancies)
eclampsia (convulsions, coma during pregnancy or labor, high risk of death)
anemia (which can be life-threatening)
embolism (blood clots)
medical disability requiring full bed rest (frequently ordered during part of many pregnancies varying from days to months for health of either mother or baby)
diastasis recti, also torn abdominal muscles
mitral valve stenosis (most common cardiac complication)
serious infection and disease (e.g. increased risk of tuberculosis)
ectopic pregnancy (risk of death)
broken bones (ribcage, “tail bone”)
numerous other complications of delivery
refractory gastroesophageal reflux disease
aggravation of pre-pregnancy diseases and conditions (e.g. epilepsy is present in .5% of pregnant women, and the pregnancy alters drug metabolism and treatment prospects all the while it increases the number and frequency of seizures)
severe post-partum depression and psychosis
research now indicates a possible link between ovarian cancer and female fertility treatments, including “egg harvesting” from infertile women and donors
research also now indicates correlations between lower breast cancer survival rates and proximity in time to onset of cancer of last pregnancy
research also indicates a correlation between having six or more pregnancies and a risk of coronary and cardiovascular disease
I do think there are a great portion of American cis-men who like to pick and choose those parts of gender equality that make their lives easiest and adhere to those only.
For example: She wants to pay for dinner? AWESOME. I can keep my seat on this packed train? FANTASTIC. She wants to have sex four times a night and not hear the word “slut.” GORGEOUS. She wants to be paid what I earn and be treated with respect in the military and go out drinking without worrying about sexual assault? SHUT UP THAT WHINE.
Here’s my deal: Until I’m clear that a cis-man really does see me as his equal, I’m just going to look at his cherry-picking “feminism” as manipulative laziness.
JerseyGrrrl on jezebel. So, so, so, so true. (via shortbreadsh)
Preeeeetttty much how I feel about some male-feminists.
Hey, y’all. So, my mother is competing for the chance to win a small business grant and she has enlisted my help to aid in her quest, ya dig. So, basically, she needs approximately 250 votes on this website to even qualify. I was wondering if y’all could be so kind as to vote for her. Now, this requires you have a Facebook, so if you don’t have one, no harm no foul. She’s beginning a new phase in her life and this would really be awesome-sauce if she got this.
Her company is Katrina Taylor & Associates, LLC (which is in St. Louis, MO)
2. When you see a woman walking by herself, leave her alone.
3. If you pull over to help a woman whose car has broken down, remember not to rape her.
4. If you are in an elevator and a woman gets in, don’t rape her.
5. When you encounter a woman who is asleep, the safest course of action is to not rape her.
6. Never creep into a woman’s home through an unlocked door or window, or spring out at her from between parked cars, or rape her.
7. Remember, people go to the laundry room to do their laundry. Do not attempt to molest someone who is alone in a laundry room.
8. Use the Buddy System! If it is inconvenient for you to stop yourself from raping women, ask a trusted friend to accompany you at all times.
9. Carry a rape whistle. If you find that you are about to rape someone, blow the whistle until someone comes to stop you.
10. Don’t forget: Honesty is the best policy. When asking a woman out on a date, don’t pretend that you are interested in her as a person; tell her straight up that you expect to be raping her later. If you don’t communicate your intentions, the woman may take it as a sign that you do not plan to rape her.
Apparently you can still be a feminist if you support Dan Savage’s rape apologism, racism, and general bigotry because:
you’re white and straight and it doesn’t affect you
you’re white and gay and it doesn’t affect you
you’re not trans* so it doesn’t affect you
you’re not PoC so it doesn’t affect you
you’re not a decent human being, so it doesn’t affect you
you’re not a rape survivor, so it doesn’t affect you
you’re not fat, so it doesn’t affect you
so you’re still a “good feminist” because your mouthpiece, Dan Savage, has never said anything that offended you, or contributed to the slew of hatred you have to deal with on a daily basis. Good job white-cis-feminists, good job.
“We live down the street from a gay couple with a young son, my son goes and plays there and has lunch there. My son is 8 years old, and not once has he come and asked why his friend has two poppas. His family is no different to my family – they eat at the same time, send their kid to school, discipline him and love him the same way. It’s only the teaching that we give to the child that makes them see those distinctions.”—Mark Ruffalo (via dixiechicken)
This is your reminder that private insurance companies often refuse trans* people not only medically necessary transition care (which is seen by the insurance companies as “cosmetic” even though the medical community agrees it’s medically necessary), but also care which even the insurance companies consider medically necessary, on the grounds that transition is causing whatever the problem is and if you’d just stop transitioning, everything would be okay.
We’ve watched the definition of “conscience clause” be expanded to include everyone from nurses and data entry workers at hospitals to bus drivers refusing to drop off patients at clinics. But now a prison guard refused to allow a rape victim to take the second dose of emergency contraception (which prevents fertilization) claiming it was “against her beliefs.” That’s a new one.
A Tampa woman whom we only know as R.W., was raped. She was treated by the rape crisis center, who gave her two emergency contraception pills, one to be taken immediately and one to be taken 12 hours later. When she reported the rape to the police, they uncovered an arrest warrant on R.W. for failure to pay restitution and failure to appear. After she was arrested, a Hillsborough County guard confiscated her second pill, claiming it was against her religious beliefs.
But this is exactly what happens when “conscience” is allowed to trump a woman’s rights to avoid pregnancy. R.W. is suing the sheriff’s office, and as well she should. This isn’t just about women denied access when jailed (Although that in itself is problematic — should a woman fear reporting a crime because she may be arrested? Not to mention the fact that women who are sexually assaulted while in jail may also be at the whim of a guard or someone in authorityin obtaining access to emergency contraception to prevent pregnancy).
No, this case also brings to light how those who are “in charge” when it comes to dispensing are able to inflict their own moral beliefs onto someone else. In states like Kansas, which seek to expand conscience clauses well beyond health workers, the putative “rights” if those who wield power are being allowed to trump those of the patient in need.
What Africa is: - a continent consisting of over 50 sovereign nations, all of which have unique social, political and economical dynamics - a continent that hosts thousands of recognized languages and ethnic groups - the most climatically diverse body of land on Earth; there are deserts, savannas, prairies, tundras, grasslands and rainforests, all of which sustain a separate environment -a collection of countries, each of which suffer setbacks and encounter triumphs, just like every other collection of countries
What Africa is not: - a homogeneous region - the inspiration to finish your dinner - full of disease, famine and political conflicts - a place to go and discover yourself, at the price of people’s dignity and respect - a preidentifier for anything; the label “Africa” says nothing considering how diverse the continent is - a dichotomous third world with America, the people in Ethiopia encounter small, tedious issues like setting their alarm clocks and spilling coffee on their clothes too
“It saddens me to see girls proudly declaring they’re not like other girls – especially when it’s 41,000 girls saying it in a chorus, never recognizing the contradiction. It’s taking a form of contempt for women – even a hatred for women – and internalizing it by saying, Yes, those girls are awful, but I’m special, I’m not like that, instead of stepping back and saying, This is a lie.
The real meaning of “I’m not like the other girls” is, I think, “I’m not the media’s image of what girls should be.” Well, very, very few of us are. Pop culture wants to tell us that we’re all shallow, backstabbing, appearance-obsessed shopaholics without a thought in our heads beyond cute boys and cuter handbags. It’s a lie – a flat-out lie – and we need to recognize it and say so instead of accepting that judgment as true for other girls, but not for you.”—
Excellent article. I always end up thinking this when I see reblogs like that. Female competition is a horrible, poisonous thing (that I’ve only recently gotten over engaging in, and I am much happier for it).
Violence/Harm and Transgender, Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Queer Latina & Latino Experiences
The purpose of this research project is to better understand the experiences of Latin@ transgender, lesbian, gay, bisexual, and queer people who experience harm/violence in their lives because of who they are. The study seeks to understand what harm/violence people have encountered throughout their life, when and why they have felt safer or affirmed, and their opinions about harm/violence in society.
What You Are Volunteering For?
A confidential, audio recorded two and a half (2.5) hour interview. A $25.00 VISA gift card will be given to all participants who complete the interview.
Where Is The Interview?
At a safe location the volunteer chooses.
Am I Qualified To Volunteer?
If you can answer “Yes” to all of the following questions, then you are able to volunteer:
1) Are you of Latin American descent?
2) Are you transgender, lesbian, gay, bisexual, or queer?
3) Have you experienced some type of harm/violence because of who you are?
4) Are you at least 18 years old?
5) Do you currently live in the state of Texas?
6) If an immigrant, have you lived in the United States for at least five (5) years?
This study has been approved by The University of Texas at Austin Institutional Review Board.
If you are interested in volunteering to be interviewed and would like more information, please contact David Glisch-Sánchez by e-mail at email@example.com
¡Participe en un estudio de investigación!
Las experiencias de violencia en las vidas de latinas y latinos transgénero, lesbiana, gay, o bisexual.
El propósito de esta investigación es entender las experiencias de las latinas y los latinos transgénero, lesbiana, gay, o bisexual que han experimentado daño/violencia en sus vidas. La investigación quiere documentar los tipos de daño/violencia que las personas han experimentado durante toda la vida, cuando y porque han sentido más seguro ó afirmado, y sus opiniones sobre el daño y la violencia que hay en la sociedad.
¿Qué hará Ud. si desea participar en ésta investigación?
Participar en una entrevista que será confidencial y grabado por dos horas y media (2.5 horas). Cada persona que termina la entrevista recibirá una VISA tarjeta de regalo que vale $25.00.
¿Dónde será la entrevista?
En un lugar seguro y privado que el voluntario o la voluntaria prefiera y escoja.
¿Califico yo para el estudio?
Si Ud. contesta con un “Sí” a las siguientes preguntas, puede participar en el estudio:
1) ¿Tiene Ud. herencia latinoamericana?
2) ¿Es Ud. transgénero, lesbiana, gay o bisexual?
3) ¿Ha experimentado Ud. violencia u otro tipo de daño porque ser quien es?
4) ¿Tiene Ud. a lo menos 18 años?
5) ¿Vive Ud. en el estado de Texas?
6) Si es inmigrante, ¿ha vivido Ud. en los Estados Unidos a lo menos 5 años?
Esté proyecto ha sido aprobado por la Comisión de Revisión Institucional de la Universidad de Tejas en Austin.
Si esta Ud. Interesada(o) a participar en la entrevista y desea más información, por favor envie un mensaje a David Glisch-Sánchez por e-mail a firstname.lastname@example.org
It was no surprise that in a liberal city like Austin, every parent was a welcoming multiculturalist, embracing diversity. But Vittrup had also noticed, in the original surveys, that hardly any of these white parents had ever talked to their children directly about race. They might have asserted vague principles in the home—like “Everybody’s equal” or “God made all of us” or “Under the skin, we’re all the same”—but they had almost never called attention to racial differences.
They wanted their children to grow up color-blind. But Vittrup could also see from her first test of the kids that they weren’t color-blind at all. Asked how many white people are mean, these children commonly answered “Almost none.” Asked how many black people are mean, many answered “Some” or “A lot.” Even kids who attended diverse schools answered some of the questions this way.
More disturbingly, Vittrup had also asked all the kids a very blunt question: “Do your parents like black people?” If the white parents never talked about race explicitly, did the kids know that their parents liked black people?
Apparently not: 14% said, outright, “No, my parents don’t like black people”; 38% of the kids answered, “I don’t know.” In this supposed race-free vacuum being created by parents, kids were left to improvise their own conclusions—many of which would be abhorrent to their parents.
”—“Why White Parents Don’t Talk About Race”, NurtureShock, Po Bronson & Ashley Merryman (via sociologique)
Something to keep in mind about the recent Secret Service / Sex-worker scandal in Cartagena, Columbia. When an American tried to pay a sex worker only $30 after previously agreeing to pay her $800 she complained to the police. She complained to the police. If you’re an American take a minute to wrap your head around that. Take more than a minute if you need to. And you might. But let’s look at that again. She. Complained. To the police. The possibility that a sex worker would complain to the police almost certainly never occurred to the American. The possibility that the police would listen to her probably never crossed his mind. Because in America, where that kind of sex work is universally illegal it just doesn’t work that way. Because every American customer, let alone every American criminal/sexual predator, knows that no American sex worker dares go to the police no matter how badly they’re treated. And of course it’s not just American customers and predators who can’t wrap their head around the concept. Nominal sex-worker defenders who can speak only in terms of “prostituted women” don’t seem to get it either. Nor is the general public, immersed as we are in cop shows, “gritty urban realism” metaphors, “heart of gold hooker” movies like Pretty Girl, and Krucher Ashton videos, likely to have much luck either. So. Small wonder then the American Secret Service agent thought he could get away with treating a Colombian sex worker the way he would treat (has treated?) sex workers at home or elsewhere abroad. I mean, even if you “know” sex work is legal in the “3rd-world” town* you’re visiting it’s unlikely it would occur to you that if you bilk a sex worker she’ll complain to the police. The American made a bad decision to effectively rob a sex worker. Unfortunately for him a decision under Colombian law makes it safe for sex workers to complain to the police. Standard disclaimer: One can oppose sex work as an industry and still celebrate social, civil, and legal protection for those who practice it. Further, the social transformations required to end the sex work industry does not require that sex work itself remain illegal. And finally, one can oppose the sex work industry and still recognize who benefits most from laws prohibiting it. * Note: Socioeconomically speaking Cargagena, Columbia is considered a thriving, multi-industry middle-to-upper-middle class city that regularly hosts international economic and trade summits.
And then you realize that, because of the man you voted for sticking up for the basic right to affordable health care, today millions of other people found out that they are going to be able to stop making the choice between food and medicine, and will get to experience that relief too. Thank you, President Obama.
That’s a sweet, sweet feeling.
For real? Is this a thing? I didn’t realize it would be effective immediately. *time to do some research*
I’m calling insurance companies tomorrow so I can get some health insurance.