That Feminist Dyke

anotherlittlegreyarea:

Normal is a word we hear so often, so casually, but for some of us it’s such a loaded word.

I was sitting on the loo (which is a normal thing to do) thinking about how I was so happy this morning and then after doing a normal days work I now feel incredibly foggy minded, my back aches, I’m tired as hell, and in turn kind of fucking grumpy. Then I got up to do some washing that I’d forgotten to turn on (probably because of the brain fog) and set the cycle to ‘NORMAL WASH’. 

The dictionary definition of normal (from the one where if I hi-light a word, and then left click and “look up in dictionary”) is this, and from that it concludes, in quite a straight up manner, that I’m not “normal”.

In no way or form have I ever in my life been a person free from physical or mental disorder, but I mean nowadays - who is? I just had a little check and this is from the Oxford Dictionary which from my schooling days, if I remember correctly, is the dictionary that holds a decent reputation. 

I feel like I’m easily swayed from my point when I write, or talk for that matter and to be honest today I’m not sure if I even have one, it’s more like a rhetorical question.

What is normal?

And if I’m an abnormal person with a chronic illness (ms), and anxiety, and a history of depression, then can I have normal symptoms of these things that make me an abnormal person? It all seems a bit back to front, or inside out or whatever to me. 

Then when I look at the Thesaurus for different words to use in place of normal (using the same method as finding the dictionary definition) I come up with this.

These words aren’t really very flattering, so perhaps normal is actually something that I would never want to be considered. Would anyone really want to be considered standard, or common, or unremarkable or god forbid your garden-variety? 

So in roundabout conclusion, maybe this whole little ramble comes down to, why do I ever think, “God, I wish I was normal for just a day” when what I should be thinking is, “Thank fuck I’m not one of those normals”?