That Feminist Dyke

android-eighteen:

Today is National Coming Out Day, and I wanted to take a moment to remind everyone that coming out is a huge, huge privilege.

Some of us come from extremely religious families who are unwilling to tolerate the beauty of diversity when it comes to human sexuality, and they reject us, shun us from the family, kick us out of our homes, etc.  Some of us our sent to “straight camps” in order to “heal us” so that we can “be saved” so that we can “be in Heaven” (because apparently our all-loving God can’t find it in Him to love the queers).  Some of us come from cultures who don’t recognize queerness as being acceptable, and it’s such a taboo, that talking about it is too overwhelming, lest the family reacts with extreme anger.  Some of us live in already abusive homes, that coming out as queer would make our living situation even worse.  Some of us have the high fear of losing our families and loved ones, that coming out really doesn’t seem like an option at the time.  Some of us live in cities, have jobs, or go to schools where it doesn’t feel safe to come out.  Or hell, some of us just aren’t ready to deal with what “coming out” comes along with.  To come out means to be ready for the looks, the judgments, the hateful words, the harassment.  Coming out comes with a lot of emotional baggage, because society likes to try and tear us down with their judgments and hate.  Some of us just aren’t emotionally or mentally ready for that.

And that’s okay.

So for those of us who *have* come out, never take for granted the privilege you have for coming out.  Not everyone is able to do that.  Coming out is a huge, huge deal to many people.  Coming out is not simple, it’s not easy, and it can be a daily battle for someone.  Coming out could mean losing everything to somebody.  So please, if you have a loving and accepting family, don’t take it for granted.  I want you to go up to them today and give them a big hug, and thank them for loving you unconditionally.  Because believe it or not, most families aren’t willing to react with so much love.

And for those of you who haven’t come out — it’s okay.  You don’t owe anyone an explanation.  Take all the time you need.