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My name is: Michelle, but most people call me Dark online.
My gender-pronouns are: They/them/their.
I am: 27 years old, a feminist, an atheist, an omnivore, and an ISFJ.
The Feminist: Intersectional, body positive, pro-choice, and sex positive.
My privileged identities include: Female assigned at birth (FAAB trans* privilege), white, able-bodied, allistic (?), dyadic, monogamous.
My non-privileged/oppressed identities include: Gender-fluid, fat, gray-a, neuroatypical, and gay.
I have: Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Major Depressive Disorder, Dermatophagia, and Dermatillomania.
I like: Pets & animals, animal welfare, pet care & pet care education, ~*SCIENCE!*~, anatomy & physiology, roleplaying, anime/manga, computer & video games, rock & metal music.
Yeah, we live in a culture where rape is excused but drugs as harmless as pot can get you thrown behind bars for years.
they are creepy white men writing about their male gaze and how pretty the girls they love are. female representation in their lyrics is sexist as fuck
Brand new “so have another drink and drive yourself home, I hope there’s ice on all the roads and you think of me when your head goes through the windshield.” Lyrics by men talking about an ex leaving him (for being a shitty whiny bastard and having a shitty whiny girl) and how he hopes she dues violently for not wanting to be with him. Emo, indie, pop punk and tons of hardcore are full of women are liars, cheats and I hope they die lyrics. White people must not know the lyrics to their favorite stones or guns n roses songs either? “She’s my cherry pie, taste so good make a grown man cry” the depiction of women as edible objects and not humans also able to be consumed by men wayyyy older than they. I could go on
i’m tired of snot filled white boys singing about how they couldn’t get pussy from their manic pixie girls
Excuse me and the length of this post as I go the fuck in on white people and their music.
How about Crazy Bitch by Buckcherry?
“Hey, you’re a crazy bitch, but you look so good on top of me”?
Oh, so you think it’s okay to call her a bitch and tell her she’s crazy, but you still expect the cookie? Hell nah.
Nickleback’s Follow You Home is about stalking a woman who has already given him repeated no’s, to the point where she has threatened violence against him to keep him away, but he’s not listening to her, and telling her there’s nothing she can do to stop him from doing what he’s doing.
“You can dig me up a grave, and try to stick me in the ground. Well you can tie me to the bed and try to beat me half to death, but you can never keep me down. You can stick me in a hole and you can pray all day for rain. You can shoot me in the leg just to try and make me beg, and you can leave me there for dead. And I’ll stay alive, just to follow you home.”
Death Cab for Cutie’s I Will Possess Your Heart is all about a man who is just damn determined to get this woman to love him, even though she has already declined to be with him, and that maybe if she’d just TRY, if she’d give him a chance, she’d love him too. The WHOLE FUCKING SONG can be summed up in one line.
“You reject my advances and desperate pleas. I won’t let you let me down so easily.”
So basically, she politely declined and you still seem to think she wants you deep down. You dropped your fedora, Death Cab. Lemme put it in your death note messenger bag for you.
Ludo’s song Go Getter Greg has the line:
“I’ve given it some thought, and I really think that you could use a guy like me in your life, looking after you. A man to take you home, a hand for you to hold, and I’d never leave you alone.”
Sounds sweet? Nah. The entire song is about a nice guy who’s harrassing a woman who recently moved in, despite the fact that she is not interested, starting from the minute she begins unpacking her car.
And let’s not forget Cobra fucking Starship, and their song It’s Warmer in the Basement.
He’s kidnapped the girl he’s interested in, locked her in a basement, and won’t let her out until she loves him.
“You can’t escape now, I’ve got you locked inside this room, you know I tip good, and soon, you will love me too. Don’t be upset now, you know that I get angry too.
Don’t make me hurt you. It’s true, no one hears you in this room.”
But rap is sexist? Oh, aiite. I guess your shit don’t stink either, white people?
And no, I don’t care if any of these songs were jokes or whatever. The problem is, someone is going to listen to it and think that this behavior is fucking normal, that it’s okay, and it’s fucking not.
All that ‘consent is sexy!’ crap that you see going around.
This article contains some very useful, very concrete tips on how to attack rape culture in your social circles
Men who want to flirt with women have to realize: Women live in a state of continual vigilance about sexual safety. It’s like having a mild case of hay fever that never goes away. It’s not debilitating. You’re not weak. You’re not afraid. You just suck it up and get on with your life. It’s nothing that’s going to stop you from making discoveries, or climbing mountains, or falling in love. Sometimes you can almost forget about it. It doesn’t mean it’s not there, subtly sucking your energy. You learn to avoid situations that make it worse and seek out conditions that make it better.
If a female stranger is wary around you, it is not because she suspects you are a rapist, or that all men are rapists. It’s because a general level of circumspection is what vigilance requires. Don’t take it personally.
If this frustrates you, try to remember that women are blamed for lapsed vigilance. If a woman does get raped, everyone rushes to see where she let her guard down. Was she drinking? Was she alone? Was she wearing a short skirt? Did she go to a strange man’s room for coffee at 4am?
A woman must be seen to be vigilant as well as be vigilant. If she is deemed insufficiently vigilant, she will be at least partly blamed for any sexual violence that befalls her. If she’s regarded as downright reckless, that “evidence” can be used to completely exonerate her rapist. If it comes down to a he said/she said dispute over whether sex was consensual, as so many rape cases do, the dispute becomes a referendum on whether the woman seems like the sort of reckless person who would have sex with a stranger.
If a woman does go back to a strange man’s hotel room at 4am, even if she only wants a coffee and conversation, she’s more or less given him the power to rape her. No jury is going to believe she went up there for anything but sex. So, don’t be surprised if a stranger reacts badly to that suggestion.
This is accurate and extremely well-said and 100% more coherent than I could ever be, although I will try to keep the phrasing of that whole first paragraph in mind.
Laurie Halse Anderson, author of Speak, on the question “Have any readers ever asked questions that shocked you?”
Read that again. Read it again, and again, and again. Over and over guys have asked her why Melinda was so upset about being raped. This is a girl who went to a party with friends. She was thirteen. She had a drink, because everyone else was. And a senior held her down and raped her while she was too drunk to get away.
And guys don’t understand why she was upset.
Read that again and then come back and tell me again why I should just shut up and take a joke when a comedian blows off rape as a big deal, or women’s bodies are casually treated as commodities in media. Remind me why I shouldn’t care about the very real harm that society’s treatment of women and sexual assault does.