That Feminist Dyke

literaryreference:

You know how it is, right, ladies? You know a guy for a while. You hang out with him. You do fun things with him—play video games, watch movies, go hiking, go to concerts. You invite him to your parties. You listen to his problems. You do all this because you think he wants to be your friend.

But then, then comes the fateful moment where you find out that all this time, he’s only seen you as a potential girlfriend. And then if you turn him down, he may never speak to you again. This has happened to me time after time: I hit it off with a guy, and, for all that I’ve been burned in the past, I start to think that this one might actually care about me as a person. And then he asks me on a date.

I tell him how much I enjoy his company, how much I value his friendship. I tell him that I really want to be his friend and to continue hanging out with him and talking about our favorite books or exploring new restaurants or making fun of avant-garde theatre productions. But he rejects me. He doesn’t answer my calls or e-mails; if we’d been making plans to do something before this fateful incident, these plans mysteriously fail to materialize. (This is why I never did get around to seeing the Hunger Games movie. Not to name any names, but thanks a lot, Tom.) Later, when I run into him at social events, our conversations are awkward and lukewarm. This is because the moment we met, he put me in the girlfriend-zone, and now he can’t see me as friend material.

I must say that I find this really unfair. I mean, I’m a nice girl. I have a lot to offer as a friend, like not being a douchebag and stuff. But males just don’t want to be friends with nice girls like me. They can’t help it, I guess; it’s just how they’re wired, biologically. Evolution conditioned our male hominid ancestors to seek nice girls as mates and form friendship bonds only with the other dudes that they hunted mammoths with. It’s true—I know this because I studied hominids in my fifth-grade science class.

So what’s the answer? Should I take up mammoth-hunting in an attempt to appeal to the friendship centers of men’s primal lizardbrains? Should I keep making guy “friends” and then prevent them from making a move on me by subtly undermining their self-confidence? Should I just give up on those manipulative, game-playing, two-faced bastards once and for all? I don’t know. I mean, I’d really like to have a true friendship with a guy someday, but it’s so hard to trust and respect them when they never say what they mean—and you never know when you might be relegated to the girlfriend-zone.

tooyoungforthelivingdead:

lottelodge:

lottelodge:

It says: “I’m running a bit of an informal data-gathering thing to see how people express their nonbinary gender. I’ll publish the results in July 2013 if I get more than 100 respondents.”

It’s pretty short!

It’s only like four questions, about preferred pronouns and titles and stuff.

If you’re one of us, do the survey, maybe?

tooyoungforthelivingdead:

the title is self-explanatory. yes.

mamamantis:

Radscum are a particularly nasty breed of radical feminist (i.e., those that are scum.) There’s a common misconception that “radical feminism” just means … well, any feminism that is radical. However, it refers to a specific kind of feminism that, in my experience, is characterized by rampant transmisogyny and a fuckton of internalized misogyny.

(To be fair, I’m sure there exist some radical feminists that aren’t scum. I just … haven’t met any.)

Most, if not all (actually probably all) radscum identify with some form of the “Womyn Born Womyn” movement, also known as the “If You Don’t Have a Vagina I Will Never Give Any Shits About You Ever” movement. They actively attack, belittle, and oppress trans women, and treat trans men as disappointments at best, traitors at worst. In short, they are scum.

They also seem to believe that any woman who is not a radical feminist is not smart enough to make decisions for herself. Most of them are anti-pornography, anti-burlesque, anti-femme, anti-heterosexuality, anti- … okay, they’re just anti-women-claiming-their-sexuality. Interactions with radscum in this context usually go like this:

Me: *wears makeup/wears a dress/shaves legs/etc.*

Radscum: HEY! DON’T DO THAT! STOP THAT! YOU’RE SUPPORTING THE PATRIARCHY! YOU’RE COOPERATING WITH THE ENEMY!

Me: Uhm, actually, even though I understand that mainstream beauty standards originated from the patriarchy to oppress and sexualize women, I’m actually doing this as a femme reclamation and a refusal to allow them to dictate my appearance. Also, outside of a feminist context, I just really like how this looks and it makes me happy.

Radscum: NO! WRONG! YOU CAN’T DO THAT! IT WILL ALWAYS BELONG TO THE PATRIARCHY! YOU DON’T REALLY WANT THAT, YOU’RE BRAINWASHED!

So basically what they’re saying is that a woman cannot make her own choices because her opinion will never outweigh a man’s opinion (not using inclusive language here because I’m referring to THEIR bullshit definition of “woman”), and that female-presenting people can never reclaim anything because anything that we attempt to reclaim belongs to men and always will.

Which, uh. Doesn’t sound very feminist to me.

And for people who screech so much about how gender/sex divisions are harmful and evil, they seem very very very concerned with policing who’s a “REAL WOMYN!!!!!!!!” and who isn’t.

Anyway, I’m rambling. Long story short is that they are very very unpleasant people and I don’t like them.

((rebloggable by request!))