[My main Tumblr can be found over at myasphyxiatedmind]
If you want your ask replied to privately, just put '****' before you start typing.
My name is: Michelle, but most people call me Dark online.
My gender-pronouns are: They/them/their.
I am: 26 years old, a feminist, liberal, an atheist, an omnivore, and an ISFJ.
The Feminist: Intersectional, body positive, pro-choice, and sex positive.
My privileged identities include: Female assigned at birth (trans* privilege), white, able-bodied, allistic (?), dyadic, monogamous.
My non-privileged/oppressed identities include: Gender-fluid, fat, gray-a, neuroatypical, and gay.
I have: Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, and Major Depressive Disorder.
I like: Pets & animals, animal welfare, pet care & pet care education, ~*SCIENCE!*~, anatomy & physiology, roleplaying, anime/manga, computer & video games, rock & metal music.
Catching Elephant is a theme by Andy Taylor
mama just killed a man: Anonymous asked: What are "radscum?"
Radscum are a particularly nasty breed of radical feminist (i.e., those that are scum.) There’s a common misconception that “radical feminism” just means … well, any feminism that is radical. However, it refers to a specific kind of feminism that, in my experience, is characterized by rampant transmisogyny and a fuckton of internalized misogyny.
(To be fair, I’m sure there exist some radical feminists that aren’t scum. I just … haven’t met any.)
Most, if not all (actually probably all) radscum identify with some form of the “Womyn Born Womyn” movement, also known as the “If You Don’t Have a Vagina I Will Never Give Any Shits About You Ever” movement. They actively attack, belittle, and oppress trans women, and treat trans men as disappointments at best, traitors at worst. In short, they are scum.
They also seem to believe that any woman who is not a radical feminist is not smart enough to make decisions for herself. Most of them are anti-pornography, anti-burlesque, anti-femme, anti-heterosexuality, anti- … okay, they’re just anti-women-claiming-their-sexuality. Interactions with radscum in this context usually go like this:
Me: *wears makeup/wears a dress/shaves legs/etc.*
Radscum: HEY! DON’T DO THAT! STOP THAT! YOU’RE SUPPORTING THE PATRIARCHY! YOU’RE COOPERATING WITH THE ENEMY!
Me: Uhm, actually, even though I understand that mainstream beauty standards originated from the patriarchy to oppress and sexualize women, I’m actually doing this as a femme reclamation and a refusal to allow them to dictate my appearance. Also, outside of a feminist context, I just really like how this looks and it makes me happy.
Radscum: NO! WRONG! YOU CAN’T DO THAT! IT WILL ALWAYS BELONG TO THE PATRIARCHY! YOU DON’T REALLY WANT THAT, YOU’RE BRAINWASHED!
So basically what they’re saying is that a woman cannot make her own choices because her opinion will never outweigh a man’s opinion (not using inclusive language here because I’m referring to THEIR bullshit definition of “woman”), and that female-presenting people can never reclaim anything because anything that we attempt to reclaim belongs to men and always will.
Which, uh. Doesn’t sound very feminist to me.
And for people who screech so much about how gender/sex divisions are harmful and evil, they seem very very very concerned with policing who’s a “REAL WOMYN!!!!!!!!” and who isn’t.
Anyway, I’m rambling. Long story short is that they are very very unpleasant people and I don’t like them.
((rebloggable by request!))
Please understand when someone says you have privilege - whether it be because of your race, gender, etc., understand they are not saying they claim to know you and understand your life. They are not saying you have lived an easy life. They are not saying you were born with a silver spoon or found one along the way.
What they are saying is that you were born with something, something that others were not. You were born with an advantage that for the time being, is still inherent and institutionalized.
What they are saying is listen, because as a result of that privilege, there are some things you can’t learn unless you do exactly that - listen.
So I implore you: Open you eyes. Close your mouth. Fill your ears, and consequentially, your heart and mind.
Petition for reddit's administrators to remove the anti-feminist mods of /r/feminism.
So, /r/feminism’s mods have been deleting comments disagreeing with MRAs, banning posters who consistently disagree with MRAs, and have added anti-feminist and pro-MR subreddits to their sidebar. Obviously, this has reddit’s feminists, already beleaguered by being on reddit at all, quite upset.
Even if you don’t post on reddit, please sign this petition. The MRAs can’t win this one.
The internets have been abuzz with the talk of whether Chris Soghoian’s attack post on me (and other journalists) was, among other things, sexist. After a litany of faults, put downs, and misunderstandings, this one question has emerged above all others. So let me address whether Soghoian was sexist towards me.
Of course he was.
But perhaps not the way the vast majority of people think of sexism. I have no idea if Soghoian has a problem with women, per se. But I have a problem with perpetuating an environment so hostile to women that most leave and the ones that remain often describe their own careers as “traumatic.” This is what Soghoian has done, and this is sexism in its most pernicious form.
The gaming industry is actually in the process of changing,” Ms. Sarkeesian said. “That’s a really positive thing, but I think there is a small group of male gamers who feel like gaming belongs to them, and are really terrified of that change happening.
The Black Feminist Manifesto: Seeking Cover Art & Important Deadlines!
I am extremely proud to say that The Black Feminist Manifesto has received excellent submissions & it has become a wonderful safe space for POC. A few things:
- We are currently looking for a POC artist submission for cover art for its first ever publication!
- August 20th is the final deadline to submit your work to be published in the first edition!
- Please signal boost & subscribe. Allies are welcome to subscribe and read but discussion & submissions are strictly for POC by POC.
A Table of Contents
For new and veteran followers alike, here are some important The Sex Uneducated links that might be useful for you:
My Story: How the lack of comprehensive sex education contributed to my contraction of HSV
The Sex Uneducated Project: A developing project between my best friend and I, taking a deeper look at people’s personal experiences with sex, sexuality and sex education.
Herpes Posts: See anything and everything, from articles to asks, regarding HSV
Herpes Videos: How-To videos when it comes to living with HSV
Sex Education Posts: See anything and everything, from articles to asks, regarding Sex Ed
Feminism Posts: See anything and everything I’ve posted related to Feminism
LBGTQ/GSM posts: All posts, reblogs and asks related to LBGTQ/GSM issues
You can also see The Sex Uneducated as an LBGTQ spotlight tumblr!
Follow us on Twitter here
Subscribe to our YouTube channel here
You can also use the search engine on the main page of the blog if you have something specific you’re looking for as well (i.e anal sex, purity myth, hymen etc.)
I hope this helps you out and thank you again for contributing to this vital conversation about one of the most important aspects of our humanity: sexuality.
With much love
The Sex Uneducated
Vocabulary You Should Know (and understand)
Graphic and following text from BASIC RIGHTS OREGON:
You may have heard the word cisgender before, but you may not know what it means. Cisgender is a term used to describe people who, for the most part, identify as the gender they were assigned at birth. For example, if a doctor said “it’s a boy!” when you were born, and you identify as a man, then you could be described as cisgender. In other words, ‘cisgender’ is used to describe people who are not transgender.
So why do we say ‘cisgender’ instead of ‘non-transgender’? Because, referring to cisgender people as ‘non trans’ implies that cisgender people are the default and that being trans is abnormal. Many people have said ‘transgender people’ and ‘normal people’, but when we say ‘cisgender’ and ‘transgender’ neither is implied as more normal than the other.
Using the word ‘cisgender’ is also an educational tool. To simply define people as ‘non-trans’ implies that only transgender people have a gender identity. But that’s not true. Like sexual orientation, race, class, and many other identities, all of us have a gender identity.
Language is important; it defines human relationships. That is why it’s important use language of equality and inclusion.
Kegel Exercises
Did you know that there is an exercise that you can do anywhere, anytime, in front of anyone that can intensify and improve your orgasms? It’s true! You can strengthen your pubococcygeus (mercifully abbreviated to “PC”) muscles just like you strengthen any other muscle, but without coughing up gym fees!
People of all genders have PC muscles… they’re an integral part of our body’s make-up, supporting all of our pelvic organs. The PC muscles are hammock-shaped and stretch from the pubic bone to the coccyx (tailbone), forming the floor of the pelvic cavity. These are the muscles you contract to stop yourself from peeing. They are also a huge part of orgasmic muscle contractions.
The exercises for developing PC muscles are called Kegel exercises (after Dr. Arnold Kegel, who “discovered” them) and they are very easy to learn. Basically, all you are doing is pretending to stop the flow of pee.
So. Clench your pee-stopping muscles. Do it! Yes, right now! No one is watching. There you go. Clench and unclench ten times in a row, playing with the length of time for each. Clench for two seconds, release for two. Clench and release 3 times in rapid succession, perhaps to the beat of your favorite song. You get the idea. Do three sets of 10 clenches, three times a day. That’s it! You can do these on the train, while watching TV, at work, anywhere! Just don’t do them while you’re actually peeing, because that could lead to urinary tract infections, which are no fun at all.
There are also toys you can purchase to help with Kegel exercises, such as the Energie kegel exerciser or the Njoy Pure Wand, which work pretty much like a regular barbell, except for the fact that one end is inserted into the vagina. Smart Balls are another good Kegel toy–they are jingling balls encased in silicone that are inserted into the vagina, where Kegels can be practiced by clenching and unclenching around the balls.
In no time you’ll notice your orgasms will increase in duration and intensity! Aside from the sexual benefits of exercising your PC muscles, these exercises have been proven to help with age-related and pregnancy related incontinence. So easy and so good for you!
PS: These are really helpful for people experiencing Pain during sex, working your muscles and becoming aware of what tenses up during intercourse is invaluable! That applies to all genders
Anonymous asked: What are “radscum?”
Radscum are a particularly nasty breed of radical feminist (i.e., those that are scum.) There’s a common misconception that “radical feminism” just means … well, any feminism that is radical. However, it refers to a specific kind of feminism that, in my experience, is characterized by rampant transmisogyny and a fuckton of internalized misogyny.
(To be fair, I’m sure there exist some radical feminists that aren’t scum. I just … haven’t met any.)
Most, if not all (actually probably all) radscum identify with some form of the “Womyn Born Womyn” movement, also known as the “If You Don’t Have a Vagina I Will Never Give Any Shits About You Ever” movement. They actively attack, belittle, and oppress trans women, and treat trans men as disappointments at best, traitors at worst. In short, they are scum.
They also seem to believe that any woman who is not a radical feminist is not smart enough to make decisions for herself. Most of them are anti-pornography, anti-burlesque, anti-femme, anti-heterosexuality, anti- … okay, they’re just anti-women-claiming-their-sexuality. Interactions with radscum in this context usually go like this:
Me: *wears makeup/wears a dress/shaves legs/etc.*
Radscum: HEY! DON’T DO THAT! STOP THAT! YOU’RE SUPPORTING THE PATRIARCHY! YOU’RE COOPERATING WITH THE ENEMY!
Me: Uhm, actually, even though I understand that mainstream beauty standards originated from the patriarchy to oppress and sexualize women, I’m actually doing this as a femme reclamation and a refusal to allow them to dictate my appearance. Also, outside of a feminist context, I just really like how this looks and it makes me happy.
Radscum: NO! WRONG! YOU CAN’T DO THAT! IT WILL ALWAYS BELONG TO THE PATRIARCHY! YOU DON’T REALLY WANT THAT, YOU’RE BRAINWASHED!
So basically what they’re saying is that a woman cannot make her own choices because her opinion will never outweigh a man’s opinion (not using inclusive language here because I’m referring to THEIR bullshit definition of “woman”), and that female-presenting people can never reclaim anything because anything that we attempt to reclaim belongs to men and always will.
Which, uh. Doesn’t sound very feminist to me.
And for people who screech so much about how gender/sex divisions are harmful and evil, they seem very very very concerned with policing who’s a “REAL WOMYN!!!!!!!!” and who isn’t.
Anyway, I’m rambling. Long story short is that they are very very unpleasant people and I don’t like them.
((rebloggable by request!))
