[My main Tumblr can be found over at myasphyxiatedmind]
If you want your ask replied to privately, just put '****' before you start typing.
My name is: Michelle, but most people call me Dark online.
My gender-pronouns are: They/them/their.
I am: 27 years old, a feminist, an atheist, an omnivore, and an ISFJ.
The Feminist: Intersectional, body positive, pro-choice, and sex positive.
My privileged identities include: Female assigned at birth (FAAB trans* privilege), white, able-bodied, allistic (?), dyadic, monogamous.
My non-privileged/oppressed identities include: Gender-fluid, fat, gray-a, neuroatypical, and gay.
I have: Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Major Depressive Disorder, Dermatophagia, and Dermatillomania.
I like: Pets & animals, animal welfare, pet care & pet care education, ~*SCIENCE!*~, anatomy & physiology, roleplaying, anime/manga, computer & video games, rock & metal music.
just an update: ira (serial rapist and abuser), formerly ira dalton gray and ira sanchez, is now going by ira bohm-sanchez and still holds a position at one n ten in phoenix working with queer youth.
Ira Gray is a rapist [account here] and abusive [account here] towards his partners. I’m pretty sure there are other accounts of abuse out there from his ex partners that I’m missing. Please reblog and link them.
Ira has been well respected and looked up to in many trans* spaces. Let him know this will no longer be. Please contact all organizations he is affiliated with and ask them to remove him in positions of authority as a speaker, facilitator, and a representative of gender and sexual minorities. Do NOT remain silent about this issue! He is counting on your silence to avoid all accountability and responsibility for what he has done. Let the survivors know that they have been heard and that you stand with them. Take the time to read what you can do to help here and read and reblog their open letter to Ira here.
These are the known organizations Ira Gray is currently still affiliated with. Contact them and ask them to remove him from positions of power and/or his articles they may have published.
One N Ten: contact here
ASU Women & Gender Studies Department (he’s currently planning on speaking in one of their classes in the fall): contact here (general email on the sidebar at the right)
Rusty Spoke Bicycle Collective (has hosted his fundraisers and workshops): contact here
Online, he’s an official product reviewer for (and gets money for clickthroughs from) babeland (facebook here, twitter here, tumblr here) and good vibrations (facebook here, twitter here, tumblr here)
He also has writings published in: Breadcrumb Scabs (facebook here, email here) Queer Under All Conditions (tumblr here, facebook here) Transguys.com, and The Huffington Post (twitter here, facebook here, Ira’s article they posted here) The Trans Consumer (word press here, tumblr here)
SIGNAL BOOST THIS! REBLOG AND DON’T LET THIS ISSUE “BLOW OVER.”
The Self Made Men
June 10, 2012
As of today, June 10th 2012, The Self Made Men have severed professional ties with their West Coast Representative, Ira Dalton Gray. On the morning of June 8th, 2012 The Self Made Men were made aware of the allegations brought upon Mr. Gray. After careful consideration amongst the staff, they have decided to let Mr. Gray go as a representative and member of the company.
He will no longer be affiliated with The Self Made Men from today forward.
tahlalaliaaa said: What ever amount of victim blaming shit you get I hope the support from the rest of your followers gives you something positive. There’s a lot of us willing to do what we can for you if you want anything. X
i really appreciate things like this. thank you so much.
if folks want to support this fight, i’m requesting a couple of things:
1) make sure you have your facts straight. read lauren’s posts (here, here, and here), my gigantic explanatory post (here), and ira’s apologist post (here: be sure to read through the various notes on that post to get other people’s take on the situation). ASK about details before assuming!
2) stay aware of what’s going on. follow me, follow bloodmouthprince, and check up on ira’s blog to see what bullshit he puts forth. keep an eye on the ira gray tag to see what other people are saying. when people say bullshit things, call them out. when people say cool things, reblog them. recognize that, as he has already, he WILL bring up my mental health, probably as soon as he responds. please stand with me when that happens and call out ableism where you see it.
3) reblog our open letter. this lists our demands to ira. we want this letter to get as much visibility as possible, including beyond tumblr and into his personal real-life spheres.
4) if you are involved in anything he’s involved with beyond tumblr, PLEASE SPREAD THE WORD about who he is and what he’s done. he has a facebook and a twitter: if you have access, call him out on those platforms as well. he also has other tumblr blogs: here, here, and here.
4) send us supportive messages. it makes getting the hate a lot easier. :D
5) write about this! put forward your thoughts and tag them “ira gray” and don’t forget to use trigger warnings as necessary.
6) make sure from now on, you go out of your way to support survivors who are dmab and of color. we have gotten SO much support from trans women and people of color, while white folks and trans men have been remarkably silent. realize that rape in queer communities doesn’t just happen to white dfab folks.
7) contact the organizations that empower him and ask them to stop. these groups include the self made men, one n ten, and arizona feminist action network. please reblog if there are others you know of with accessible contact pathways. :D
8) keep listening, keep writing, keep standing up, keep sitting down. learn when you’re supposed to learn. fight when you’re supposed to fight.
things to avoid:
1) calling for the involvement of the legal system. neither of us want to go through the harrowing process of prosecuting someone for rape. i have mental illness that would make that an incredibly hurtful experience for me. also, i generally don’t trust our criminal justice system to deliver anything near “justice.” this isn’t to shame survivors (particularly poc and trans folks) who want to involve the system. i, personally, do not want to.
2) sending ira abusive anonymous messages. the angrier he is, the more he is going to come after us. as i’ve said before, he has information about my mental health that i’m sure he’s going to try to smear me with. if you want to call him out, please do so on your own blog, with your own name tied to it, so i don’t have to handle the fallout from your actions. i appreciate the sentiment behind sending people anonymous abuse, and i’m not saying he doesn’t deserve it. however, i would feel SO MUCH more comfortable and encouraged by your non-anonymous support.
3) co-opting this for your own bigoted purposes (TW: radscum, cissexism). really, just no.
CHEERS! thank you so much for your help and support here. it really means a lot to me, and i know it means a lot to lauren and his other abused partners too. i love you all and really really appreciate the love i’ve been getting. thank you so much for your continued help.
oh! and please reblog this post. :D
Here is what I want you to do:
I want you to give Ira Gray the fucking boot. I want you to expel him from his position as a staff member in your little group. I want you to do this publicly, and I want you to tell everyone precisely WHY you’re giving him the boot. Do not make this quiet. Do not simply kick him out and then give no explanation.
He doesn’t deserve the peace of mind that comes with that.
I want you to apologize for housing a rapist scumbag, and I want you to work actively against him and destroy whatever credibility that he has.
I don’t give two shits if you’re sitting there and wondering about how this might hurt your movement or whatthefuckever, because, quite frankly, with how DFAB-centered you are, you don’t really need a fucking movement, anyway.
Get rid of him, and do it publicly.
Make a post explaining why you’re kicking him out.
Do NOT let him ~gracefully step down~ and write his own goodbye letter and post it, because you should know damn well that he’ll be a manipulative little asshole and spin it to make it seem like he’s the victim.
If he says he’ll step down, that’s great, but you better fucking frame it like you’re giving him the boot.
I have limited respect for your organization as it; don’t make it worse.
Don’t you DARE spit on his victims by letting him get away with this, or by letting him off easy.
You have an opportunity to do this shit right. Take advantage of that.