[My main Tumblr can be found over at myasphyxiatedmind]
If you want your ask replied to privately, just put '****' before you start typing.
My name is: Michelle, but most people call me Dark online.
My gender-pronouns are: They/them/their.
I am: 27 years old, a feminist, an atheist, an omnivore, and an ISFJ.
The Feminist: Intersectional, body positive, pro-choice, and sex positive.
My privileged identities include: Female assigned at birth (FAAB trans* privilege), white, able-bodied, allistic (?), dyadic, monogamous.
My non-privileged/oppressed identities include: Gender-fluid, fat, gray-a, neuroatypical, and gay.
I have: Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Major Depressive Disorder, Dermatophagia, and Dermatillomania.
I like: Pets & animals, animal welfare, pet care & pet care education, ~*SCIENCE!*~, anatomy & physiology, roleplaying, anime/manga, computer & video games, rock & metal music.
And with them, it’s just that. A temper tantrum. It’s just them getting their poor, poor feelings hurt and getting ticked off at losing an argument. It’s not like there’s any actual impact on their lives.
Meanwhile, marginalized people have a very fucking real reason to be getting upset.
Thisthisthisthis. Thank you.
White privilege is being accepted by society as the norm.
It’s never being told that “you could almost pass for a white girl, almost,” as the person who tells you this smiles and nods with approval.
As if I’m aiming for that. As if I can’t just be comfortable in my own skin, with my own heritage.
Submitted by sea-rchlight.
I have FAAB trans* privilege within the trans* community. Generally, FAAB trans* individuals have privilege over MAAB trans* individuals because if they are male identifying they have male privilege (not applicable to non-binary individuals) and are better received than MAAB trans* individuals who are murdered in numbers that are truly horrifying and are regularly erased and excluded from just about everything including women’s support groups.
Here’s the dfab trans* privilege checklist.
As for monogamous privilege, I direct you to the Monogamous Privilege Checklist.
Edit: Oh, and thank you! :3
It’s been a long day already.
White privilege is not having to use an alternative first name instead of your real first name because when your first name is Santos every potential employer just glosses over your resume and assumes that you are not a legal citizen, do not speak english, are not educated/qualified enough for the job. White privilege is both my boyfriend and I being out of work at the same time and myself (white) landing and interview for every single job I applied to and by boyfriend getting absolutely no response from anyone. White privilege is my boyfriend changing his email address and first name on his resume to David in order to get people to call him back for a job.
I think the part of Tumblr that makes me the most tired is the party line of:
“We found this person saying/doing a problematic thing(s) and now no one is allowed to like anything that they have ever said or done, because this happened, and now everyone’s previous experiences with this person’s work are invalid and/or must be disavowed”.
This creeps me out for a wide variety of reasons.
Like let’s say a sad queer kid gets really into a certain writer in high school—idk who to pick, let’s pick Hemingway, because I’m tired.
So this sad queer kid gets super into Hemingway and it helps him survive high school, right?
And then years later this kid reads A Moveable Feast, which is Hemingway’s memoir, and discovers that Ernest Hemingway was a grade A total complete absolute homophobe who destroyed his own relationship with Gertrude Stein by reacting shittily when she explained she was a lesbian.
So there are a few ways we can go with this, right.
We can accept that Hemingway is flawed and complicated, or we can make this kid feel shitty about ever having been into Hemingway and invalidate his queerness by suggesting that the only possible way to be still into Hemingway is through some measure of internalized homophobia.
THIS IS NOT A GOOD WAY TO MODEL SURVIVAL STRATEGIES OR MENTAL HEALTH.
This is a good way to hate yourself!
We are living in hell world, ok, to steal a phrase from Mehron, and the idea that we can somehow isolate ourselves in someplace that isn’t hell world is so problematic on so many levels and relies on so many creepy notions of boundaries and purity! Hell world is all around us and inside of us and in order to deal with that we have to engage with it.
Why do you think I like WAUGH? Absolutely NOTHING about Evelyn Waugh’s politics is even a TINY bit redeemable, as far as I’m concerned.
I’m just tired of all the different ways ~young radicals~ have of determining who’s a “real” radical.
And I think that loudly forever disavowing people who fuck up is a way of implicitly saying, “because I never fuck up, because obviously I don’t, because if I ever fucked up why would I suggest that all people who fuck up be forever removed from the near sphere of people we might like or value”.
And I think that helps ~radical communities~ to foster a certain quality of “but we are Good People” which renders everybody impervious to call-outs once they have amassed enough cultural capital by, idk, talking loudly at events about how much they hate [x].
Disavowal is an incomplete strategy.
Anyone who pulls the “you are not a real [insert minority here] if you like [insert problematic thing here]” can go fuck themselves. I am so sick of this bullshit mentality on Tumblr, this shit doesn’t exist anywhere else, where you are only a good social justice advocate/person if you hate every problematic thing. Frankly if you do that, you are left with one boring ass life since you cannot like anything. Everything has some problematic elements to it. Also, what really pisses me off about this whole mindset is it assumes people do not have critical thinking skills. However, I guess one wouldn’t have critical thinking skills if they cannot admit something they like has problems. -shrugs-
This is something that’s been bothering me for a long time, and there are particular factions of Tumblr that do this all the fucking time. It’s quite a bizarre way to look at the world actually, especially when you’re advocating fairness and equality. Like everyone fucks up — every single person — that’s the whole point of social justice. It’s a learning process; it’s calling people out; it’s articulating the nuance and grey area of social interactions; it’s critical thinking that allows you to say “this is what I like and this is what I would change”; it’s the analysis of culture and people. And for all the oft-heard cries about paying more attention to intersectionality, I barely hear anyone talking about the intersection of “fucking up” and “being a decent person who’s learning and improving all the time”. Those categories aren’t mutually exclusive.
I particularly hate when this attitude extends to “if you even reblog from somebody who has done something problematic in the past (whether you were there for the drama shit-storm or not) you are somehow tainted by association”. It’s fucking ridiculous.
And none of this is takes away from the fact there are obviously super fucked up things where such ostracising the problematic is warranted. But too often that perspective is lost.
Anyhoo. That’s my rant for the moment. Here’s a pertinent quote on the topic.
Please understand when someone says you have privilege - whether it be because of your race, gender, etc., understand they are not saying they claim to know you and understand your life. They are not saying you have lived an easy life. They are not saying you were born with a silver spoon or found one along the way.
What they are saying is that you were born with something, something that others were not. You were born with an advantage that for the time being, is still inherent and institutionalized.
What they are saying is listen, because as a result of that privilege, there are some things you can’t learn unless you do exactly that - listen.
So I implore you: Open you eyes. Close your mouth. Fill your ears, and consequentially, your heart and mind.