[My main Tumblr can be found over at myasphyxiatedmind]
If you want your ask replied to privately, just put '****' before you start typing.
My name is: Michelle, but most people call me Dark online.
My gender-pronouns are: They/them/their.
I am: 27 years old, a feminist, an atheist, an omnivore, and an ISFJ.
The Feminist: Intersectional, body positive, pro-choice, and sex positive.
My privileged identities include: Female assigned at birth (FAAB trans* privilege), white, able-bodied, allistic (?), dyadic, monogamous.
My non-privileged/oppressed identities include: Gender-fluid, fat, gray-a, neuroatypical, and gay.
I have: Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Major Depressive Disorder, Dermatophagia, and Dermatillomania.
I like: Pets & animals, animal welfare, pet care & pet care education, ~*SCIENCE!*~, anatomy & physiology, roleplaying, anime/manga, computer & video games, rock & metal music.
In your last post you mentioned that third gendering is wrong. Can you please explain that? Thanks!
If you make trans* people a separate group from men and women, you’re saying that trans men aren’t men and trans women aren’t women, which is wrong. There are certainly trans* people who are non-binary, but a lot of them aren’t, and so making them their own special category from the “normal” men and women is wrong.
The funniest thing in the world is straight guys who hit on random women they don’t know but have this indignant fear that a gay man is going to hit on them.
Like, they’re aware of how uncomfortable unwanted advances from strangers are, but are somehow too stupid to see the irony that they do to women what they’re afraid gay men will do to them.
Bunch of A+ dudes.
“Homophobia: the fear that gay men will treat you the way you treat women.”
if you accidentally misgender someone, or say the wrong name, just correct yourself in the same manner as if you called a cis person by the wrong name or pronouns, which is not unknown because we are all capable of verbal slips.
sometimes i accidentally call people my dog’s name, or i call them “mom”
the right way to do this is “[wrong name], excuse me, [correct name]” or “[wrong pronoun], I’m sorry [correct pronoun]”
if you accidentally mess up someone’s pronouns, do not call attention to it by falling over yourself to apologize.
conversely, do not just move on and hope they didn’t notice. they definitely noticed. not correcting yourself is offensive, and pretending that you didn’t mess up is a form of gaslighting.
if you feel like going the extra mile, apologize the next time you’re alone with them, without excuses. say “I’m sorry that I misgendered you” or “I’m sorry called you the wrong name.”
do not say “it’s so hard, and i keep forgetting! I’m so bad!” trans people hear this over and over, and the message is that they should apologize for being who they are.
if someone close to you has changed their name and/or pronouns, and you’re having a difficult time with it, maybe you should practice at home.
like… the very fact that this woman is arguing that queerplatonic is marginalized by saying that people misinterpreted her queerplatonic relationship with another woman as them being “lesbians”, and marginalizing them based on that
does that not already speak clearly enough that it’s not marginalization based on queerplatonicity, but marginalization based on perceived homosexuality
heterosexism NOT ONLY marginalizes homosexual relationships, BUT ALSO devalues close, same-gender friendships by marking degrees of closeness between people of the same gender as being “too gay”/”too lesbian”/”too queer” and thus a basis for attack
misogyny ALSO marginalizes these kinds of close relationships because misogyny devalues relationships between women, PERIOD, as one crux of misogyny is pitting women against each other, rather than emphasizing love and friendship and camaraderie between women—thus, close camaraderie is inconceivable under misogyny and is then interpreted through heterosexist lenses
as I said
I have no doubt that queerplatonic relationships are erased and shamed
but the ROOT of that is not anti-queerplatonic in nature
it is anti-queer and/or anti-woman
It also assumes that people all around the world has the same views towards people of the same gender who are friends but it’s not
yep, this; lizzie also mentioned this in a message to me
in east asia it’s not weird for girls to hold hands in public at all and no one assumes they’re lesbians—the default assumption is actually just that they’re BFFs
and I know there are societies where this idea of “queerplatonic” is really just that of BFFs