That Feminist Dyke

kayleemb:

jamietheignorantamerican:

jacketlizard:

battroid:

takeawaygirl:

thegreatdesutree:

Unfortunately, this is a real restaurant and that is a real response. Their page was not hacked and thus trolled (that I know of). The owners are just really crazy: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G6LY7TJ16pg

holy FUCK watch that video

i just watched that video (and the part 2). unbelievable

I’m like 7 minutes in and jesus christ

HOLY BALLS, I SAW THE FULL EPISODE ABOUT THIS TRAIN-WRECK OF A RESTAURANT.

GORDON RAMSAY LEFT THE RESTAURANT WITHOUT CHANGING IT BECAUSE HE SAID HE WAS SCARED AND DISTURBED BY THE PLACE AND IT’S OWNERS.

LET ME REPEAT THAT.

GORDON FUCKING RAMSAY SAID HE WAS SCARED AND DISTURBED BY HOW VICIOUS THE OWNERS ARE.

Oh my god I drive past this place all the time

lavenderlabia:

[TW: rape, victim blaming]

jadelyn:

kaleisylune:

No. No. Just no.

You are making the assumption that men are the only ones who rape.  

You are making the assumption that women are the only ones who are raped.

You are making the assumption that informing women about things they can do to prevent themselves from being raped, they are saying all men are potential rapists and lack self control.

What is wrong with saying you can lower your risks of being attacked if you make yourself less desirable to potential rapists and do not provide them with an opportunity to attack you?

Tell me something. Does it hurt to be this wrong? 

I’d like to know where in that quote you see anything about men being the only ones who rape, and women being the only ones who are raped. Seriously. Explain it to me like I’m two. Because what I see is a quote that is specifically about the way this culture frames the subject of rape in situations with a male rapist and female victim. It doesn’t exclude the possibility of other scenarios. If someone comments on the various types of chocolate ice cream, do you angrily remind them that chocolate isn’t the only flavor out there, what about vanilla ice cream? Or do you understand that discussing one aspect of an issue doesn’t preclude the existence of other aspects of that issue, and that it’s entirely possible to discuss a subtopic without pretending it’s the entirety of the discussion?

Yes, there are female rapists. Yes, there are male survivors of rape. Indeed, there are rapists and victims alike who are neither men nor women. That doesn’t change the fact that A: the vast majority of rapists are men, and the vast majority of victims are women, and B: this quote is a commentary on the way society compels women to structure their lives around fear of male sexual violence, rather than seeking to eradicate the sexual violence itself.

You defend “informing women of ways to prevent themselves from being raped”, but you know what the only surefire way to prevent becoming a victim of rape is?

Never being in the presence of a rapist.

That’s it. That’s the only sure way. And since rapists don’t exactly have purple skin or neon flashing signs on their foreheads, or anything at all to distinguish them from non-rapists, the only true prevention strategy is doomed from the start.

Women dressed modestly are raped. Hell, nuns get raped! Women in burqas are raped, women who have never set foot in a bar or gone to a party are raped, women who lock their doors and remain inside between dusk and dawn are raped, women who’ve taken self-defense classes and carry mace in their purse are raped.Did you know that the majority of rapes are committed by someone who knows the victim, not by strangers? I am, statistically speaking, in more danger when hanging out with a group of male friends, than I am taking a walk alone at night. 

I mean, do you think rape was invented after the debut of the mini-skirt, or the advent of tops with a low decolletage? Rape is not a thing that happens only to the drunk, flirtatious, and sexily-dressed. Rape is not the product of insatiable desire that, if properly curbed by appropriate modesty and retiring demeanor, will never be provoked to a rape-inspiring degree. It is an act of violence. 

If you want to pretend that we should be gender-neutral when discussing sexual violence, and be outraged at this quote for connecting narratives dictating women’s behavior to how women are taught to see men as “potential rapists”, answer me this: why do we not see features in all the men’s magazines about how to protect themselves from sexual violence? Why don’t men regularly receive advice to walk to their car with their keys held ready as a weapon if it’s after dark? Why don’t men get cautioned about leaving their drinks unattended? If the risk management strategies you support are genuinely *not* connected to presumptions of male sexual violence, why is it that only women are targeted for these bits of “advice”? We (the author of the quote and those of us who agree and pass it on) aren’t the ones creating or assuming the connection. We’re just pointing it out, to show men who’ve never had to face this issue before that the constant stream of “don’t wear sexy clothes/don’t drink publicly/be careful alone after dark/etc” that is so much background noise in our culture, isn’t as innocuous as they assumed, and that it’s not just a problem for women, because it makes some pretty unflattering assumptions about them. So, y’know, even if they can’t be arsed to give a shit about women’s safety from sexual violence, maybe they can bestir their lazy asses to give a shit about their own wounded pride.

As for what’s wrong with policing women’s behavior in the name of “safety”…good gods, where do I start? Perhaps with the fact that it doesn’t work? If ways to make oneself “less desirable” to rapists and “not provide them with an opportunity” to rape you actually worked, wouldn’t you imagine that sexual violence would occur at much lower rates than it does? Anywhere from 1 in 6, up to 1 in 3 women (depending on which statistics you’re looking at, for which groups of women, and what you’re defining as rape or sexual assault) will experience sexual violence at some point in her life. Do you really think 15-30% of women in this country just didn’t know The Rules, and thus unwittingly made themselves attractive targets and showered men with rape opportunities like confetti everywhere they went? These are lessons drilled into us from childhood onward. If The Rules actually lowered risk, the rates of rape and sexual assault would be diminishing, yes? And yet, they’re not. So I’m disinclined to take seriously any suggestions that women can prevent men from raping them by restricting their own behavior in the name of “safety”, based purely on the evidence supporting the success of that tactic (or lack thereof).

Then, of course, there’s the fact of how The Rules actually end up being used. We’ve already established that they don’t actually stop rape; in that case, what happens when The Rules fail to work as intended and a woman is raped?

Immediately, everyone and their cousin will start dissecting her behavior and examining her adherence to The Rules for her flaws and mistakes. The rapist’s behavior never receives this kind of scrutiny, but let a woman talk about being raped and everyone will tear her account apart looking for where she went wrong, what mistakes she made that brought it upon herself. Was she drinking? Did she go to the party alone or let herself be separated from her friends? What was she wearing? Did she dance with the guy or flirt with him beforehand? Was she flirting with other guys at the bar? etc. ad nauseum.

Doesn’t that seem even a little bit, I dunno, utterly twisted and fucked-up to you? That the person who carried out a physical and sexual violation upon another human being has his life and choices examined only cursorily, while the person who suffered such an attack then has to run the gauntlet of public excoriation for every single way in which she was less than perfect in following The Rules and is thus partly at fault for someone else’s choice to hurt her?

That’s what “saying you can lower your risks of being attacked if you make yourself less desirable to potential rapists and do not provide them with an opportunity to attack you” does. It opens the door to victim-blaming and is a major reason why only about 3% of rapists ever actually see jail time for their crime. That’s what’s wrong with it. It is a manifestation and an explicit upholding of rape culture. That’s what you’re defending as if it were just some harmless risk management strategies. To quote Melissa McEwan’s explanation of rape culture:

Rape culture is telling girls and women to be careful about what you wear, how you wear it, how you carry yourself, where you walk, when you walk there, with whom you walk, whom you trust, what you do, where you do it, with whom you do it, what you drink, how much you drink, whether you make eye contact, if you’re alone, if you’re with a stranger, if you’re in a group, if you’re in a group of strangers, if it’s dark, if the area is unfamiliar, if you’re carrying something, how you carry it, what kind of shoes you’re wearing in case you have to run, what kind of purse you carry, what jewelry you wear, what time it is, what street it is, what environment it is, how many people you sleep with, what kind of people you sleep with, who your friends are, to whom you give your number, who’s around when the delivery guy comes, to get an apartment where you can see who’s at the door before they can see you, to check before you open the door to the delivery guy, to own a dog or a dog-sound-making machine, to get a roommate, to take self-defense, to always be alert always pay attention always watch your back always be aware of your surroundings and never let your guard down for a moment lest you be sexually assaulted and if you are and didn’t follow all the rules it’s your fault.

If that doesn’t tell you what’s wrong with trying to get women to prevent themselves from being raped, rather than preventing people from committing rape, then I don’t know what will.

Thanks jadelyn! 

(Source: shardpool)

name-em-shame-em:

aboutmaleprivilege:

Male privilege and slut shaming all rolled into an easy to read graph! Delicious

[eta: and Ageist as fuck - WeightlessBareFaithlessScared]

Not to mention the mind-boggling fact that no matter how many partners you’ve had once you are 44 or older no matter how little sex you’ve had, even if you are a virgin, you’re still a whore. Can someone please explain to me how a 45 woman who has only had sex with her spouse, is a slutty slut who sluts?

(Source: all-about-male-privilege)

ttssgg:

Natalie Dee nails it again.