[My main Tumblr can be found over at myasphyxiatedmind]
If you want your ask replied to privately, just put '****' before you start typing.
My name is: Michelle, but most people call me Dark online.
My gender-pronouns are: They/them/their.
I am: 26 years old, a feminist, liberal, an atheist, an omnivore, and an ISFJ.
The Feminist: Intersectional, body positive, pro-choice, and sex positive.
My privileged identities include: Female assigned at birth (trans* privilege), white, able-bodied, allistic (?), dyadic, monogamous.
My non-privileged/oppressed identities include: Gender-fluid, fat, gray-a, neuroatypical, and gay.
I have: Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, and Major Depressive Disorder.
I like: Pets & animals, animal welfare, pet care & pet care education, ~*SCIENCE!*~, anatomy & physiology, roleplaying, anime/manga, computer & video games, rock & metal music.
if you accidentally misgender someone, or say the wrong name, just correct yourself in the same manner as if you called a cis person by the wrong name or pronouns, which is not unknown because we are all capable of verbal slips.
sometimes i accidentally call people my dog’s name, or i call them “mom”
the right way to do this is “[wrong name], excuse me, [correct name]” or “[wrong pronoun], I’m sorry [correct pronoun]”
if you accidentally mess up someone’s pronouns, do not call attention to it by falling over yourself to apologize.
conversely, do not just move on and hope they didn’t notice. they definitely noticed. not correcting yourself is offensive, and pretending that you didn’t mess up is a form of gaslighting.
if you feel like going the extra mile, apologize the next time you’re alone with them, without excuses. say “I’m sorry that I misgendered you” or “I’m sorry called you the wrong name.”
do not say “it’s so hard, and i keep forgetting! I’m so bad!” trans people hear this over and over, and the message is that they should apologize for being who they are.
if someone close to you has changed their name and/or pronouns, and you’re having a difficult time with it, maybe you should practice at home.
this whole otherkin thing is legitimately making me upset. You can’t just go around calling yourself whatever you please because it’s demeaning to people who actually like to identify as something other than the norm. At first, it was transgender that was the weird thing and everyone thought they were freaks. While i’m not a trans* individual myself, I understand how someone could want to be in a separate body with different working parts or a different appearance, sexuality, etc. People are often uncomfortable in the skin they’re in, and sometimes it’s so severe that they want to legitimately change their body because of it.
You fully admit you’re not trans yourself, but you go on speaking for trans people and how otherkin are bad.
I’m trans. I’m also otherkin. Most of my friends are trans and otherkin as well.
It’s funny that you mention being uncomfortable with bodies. I am uncomfortable. I’m probably going to seek body mods because of it.
But the important thing is: if you’re not trans, to assume to speak for trans people. You want to defend trans people? Don’t speak over us.
As for otherkin: they’re not just teenagers. Otherkin crosses age ranges, gender ranges, and race. My identity is what it is, it’s something I’ve wrestled with, and my existence does not affect the legitimacy of trans people. We don’t take up space because no one will give us any. We’re not considered. What we have we gave ourselves. The fact that so many would consider me delusional is a large part of the reason I don’t involve myself in trans activism honestly.
There’s more I want to say, but basically this picture:
Okay so I usually don’t do this kind of thing but we’re starting to get down to the deadline and I need all the help I can get.
Me and girlfriend Amber have had our housing situation change quite suddenly and we need to move to a new place for February!
We’re seeking a room to rent in the Minneapolis/St. Paul area that’s LGBT friendly (and preferably 420 friendly as well). We’re a quiet, tidy, easy-going transgender couple - both employed full time and own our own vehicles. We’re looking for a safe, welcoming environment.
Please send me or Amber an ask if you have any questions/concerns. Even if you’re in the area and you can only ask around your friends, your help is greatly appreciated!
By Matt Wood
Transgender Law Center assisted two transgender women in Los Angeles who were wrongfully asked to leave a restaurant in Burbank in October. While eating dinner, the two women, Jennifer Reid and Victoria Rose were approached by the restaurant’s manager and asked to leave, allegedly because their clothing was not appropriate for a “family restaurant.” The women rightly believed that they were being targeted because of their gender identity and contacted TLC for information about the law and their rights.
Transgender Law Center explained to Jenny and Victoria that the Unruh Civil Rights Act, California’s public accommodations law, prohibits discrimination on the basis of gender identity in business establishments – including transgender and gender nonconforming folks alike.
(Any place that provides goods and services to the general public is considered a public accommodation – this includes restaurants, grocery stores, health clinics, hospitals, health clubs, homeless shelters and most social services).
Armed with this information, Jenny called the restaurant’s Regional Manager and demanded a public apology from the restaurant manager, a refund for the meal she and Victoria were unable to finish, and a promise that the restaurant would do remedial training with all of their managers and staff so that no transgender person would face this kind of discrimination.
Less than 24 hours after that conversation, Jenny was contacted by the Regional Manager who made a personal apology and arranged for the Burbank manager to apologize to Jenny and Victoria in the restaurant in front of the Burbank restaurant staff. Jenny and Victoria were also given a refund and extra gift coupons. Even more impressively, Jenny was then contacted by the restaurant’s Regional Human Resources Manager who was impressed with how informed Jenny was, and had decided to use some of the information from Jenny’s conversation with the Regional Manager to institute sensitivity training for all management and staff at the restaurant chain, effective immediately. As a result of Jenny and Victoria’s courageous self-advocacy, this restaurant chain is now on notice that transgender customers must be treated with the same dignity and respect afforded to all other customers.
Jenny and Victoria’s experience is an example of how transgender and gender nonconforming people often experience discrimination in their communities when accessing public accommodations, including being refused service, being treated differently than their non-transgender peers, or being victims to harmful verbal and physical violence when simply trying to carry out their daily activities.
If you need legal assistance, please call the TLC legal hotline at (415) 865-0176 x306, or via the online intake form at: http://transgenderlawcenter.org/help
Matt Wood is a staff attorney at Transgender Law Center
Fuck you for perpetuating the use of derogatory language towards trans women.
Fuck you for saying the only difference between a drag queen and a trans woman is “$25,000 and a good surgeon”, but also contractually excluding then from being contestants on your show.
Fuck you for not considering or caring that a lot of people watch your show who will believe whatever you say about queer and trans people because they don’t actually know any outside of tv.
Fuck you for pretending you care about being a role model for queer youth, and then dehumanizing certain queer identities that you deem it appropriate to make fun of.
Fuck you for thinking you have the agency to spread such hate under the guise of a joke because you’re a gay male and a drag queen.
Fuck you for making it ok for your viewers to repeat the hateful things you say.
Fuck you for perpetuating transmisogyny in gay communities.
Fuck you for validating gay men across the country who think it’s cool to throw around the word tr***y as an insult to one’s appearance.
Fuck you for making anyone who’s ever invalidated a trans woman feel comfortable in that decision.
Fuck you for encouraging your cast and viewers to make hookers the punch line in many a joke.
Fuck you for only ever talking about sex workers in a negative light.
Fuck you for not trying to educate your viewers as to where drag came from, and paying homage to the hookers and trans women who paved the way in the ball community.
Fuck you for pandering to straight people and giving them license to use queer language.
Fuck you for having Dan Savage on your show and displaying him as a beacon of the gay community when he’s even a worse spokesperson for queers than you.
But basically, fuck you for being one of the most visible gay icons and acting as such a shitty representative for us and using your fame to perpetuate stereotypes that get people bullied and killed on a regular basis.