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My name is: Michelle, but most people call me Dark online.
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I am: 26 years old, a feminist, liberal, an atheist, an omnivore, and an ISFJ.
The Feminist: Intersectional, body positive, pro-choice, and sex positive.
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My non-privileged/oppressed identities include: Gender-fluid, fat, gray-a, neuroatypical, and gay.
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catieissomethingcreative said: I kinda think that if you’re white and going to adopt a non-white child, you shouldn’t be a dick about it. That’s really it. Don’t congratulate yourself, don’t brag about it, just be a fucking parent.
that bolded sentence is the whole reason I side-eye white people wanting to adopt POC kids.
what is being ‘just a good parent’ to you, is massively different to the experiences of POC parents.
you might think you’re doing all the rights things, but as a white person, you dont realise half of what you are doing isin’t ‘just being a prent’, it’s doing a lot of ‘white parents things’ that would most likely not help the POC child at all.
you cannot just be a parent when it comes to white people having POC children. you need to go above and beyond if you are seriously considering doing this.
whites need to realise its absolutely not okay for them to only have white friends, go to white parent-toddler groups, white this, white that, watch a lot of white tv, read a lot of white fairy tales to kids, not pay enough attentkion to the things the child is taking in daily (which is mostly white things unless white parent intervenes big time) it
means not taking shit at face value when white teachers say your child acts this/that way (because a lot of the time, there is racism behind this)
it means not just occasionaly saying hi to a POC parents or letting your POC child go to some random POC event as if that’s enough. it means CONSTANTLY making sure the child is lviing in a world where they need never feel inadequate about their skin color, it means always being best friends with POC people, events, things, life, always looking up things about white privilege and not taking the opinions of white people more than POC when it coems to the safety of your child, especially when that other white parents do not have a POC child.
if this shit is too annoying or difficult for white people to do, then they having been thinking about raising a POC child in ‘the white way’ this whole time and they need to seriously rethink any outrageous ideas they had about adopting a POC child, especially if they actually think the child’s race has ‘nothing to do with it’
this is not just a child you’re looking after, you’re bringing up a POC child in a white world and you can do so much damage and make the child end up hating their race/skin color and having a whiteness mindset which can cause all sorts of fucked up complications in their years to come.
if white people cannot handle this fact, they need to stop considering getting a POC child, because its not as easy as raising a white child.
Just to add about this excuse: “there are POC children in desperate need of homes right now, is it so bad for white people to adopt them!?”
if you want to adopt POC children, let go of whatever
whitepreconcieved ideas you had about raisng whitechildren and really look into your white privilege so it doesn’t affect them as they grow up.
otherwise, you’re adopting them for purely egotistical and ignorant reasons that will later damage the kid.
POC is a Political Identity. It is not a cultural identifier, a racial identifier, or, for the most part, a personal individual identifier. It is a rejection of the divide-and-conquer rule of Whiteness. It is a handy footnote descriptor for anyone non-white regardless of their literal melanin count.
POC is also a self-desciptor for POC; a term designed to replace the white man’s descriptors for us as Coloured or Non-White. A term which makes no reverence to Whiteness as Non-White does, nor carry the stigma of Coloured.